A Day Without Ritsuka
by XOiHeartMiloOX
Summary: Ritsuka thinks that it's the end for him, but is there an alternative route? Who is there to save him, and show him that he's needed in this world? R/S Lemon


A Day Without Ritsuka

Each slice is one step closer…

Closer to equilibrium

One after another

Until all is still

And the world goes on without me…

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"I can't take it anymore! I wish that I was never born! Why won't I just die!? God, I'm so worthless…"

Ritsuka curled up into a little ball and squeezed himself under the sink in the bathroom. His mother had another one of her 'fits', but this time she had been even more brutal. There were cuts and bruises all over his body and if Ritsuka touched his side the wrong way, he could feel a broken rib protruding from its current position. A deep gash ran down his spine as blood trickled down from the scrape on his forehead. So, to put it bluntly, Ritsuka looked like hell.

He whined and twisted under the porcelain bowl above him. While trying to get a little more comfortable, Ritsuka spotted a shiny object about 2 inches from his hand. He picked it up carefully and was instantly mesmerized by the newly sharpened razor blade. He figured that Soubi must have dropped it when he was staying over for the night. Ritsuka gently swiped the top of the blade to see how sharp it really was, and was surprised (and a little disappointed) to find out that it had been used before.

Ritsuka slowly untangled himself and moved over to sit on the edge of the tub. He eyed the blade skeptically, but decided to make the first cut. The metal object slid gracefully over the smooth skin and was soon accompanied by a red liquidy substance. Horrified eyes watched as the blood dripped, one-by-one, past his fingertips and onto the sides of the white linoleum. Ritsuka was scared, not of the sight of blood, but how he craved for more. It was like an itch that needed to be scratched; an itch that had been going on for 15 years. As Ritsuka saw the blood stop seeping through, he got antsy and made another slice across his wrist, but this time deeper; to keep the blood flowing longer.

Each cut was deeper, longer, and one step closer to death. Little red marks covered Ritsuka from wrist to forearm and now he was working on his thighs. After his 'artwork' had been completed, he looked at it in admiration, but frowned when he noticed that something was off. _"One more."_ He thought as he decided where to put the final mark. Ritsuka's face lit up when he figured out where to cut. He slowly lifted his shirt and made one long slice from hip to hip. He hissed out in pain as blood poured out of his body, but soon relaxed as he closed his eyes, hopefully for the last time.

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Soubi paced back and forth nervously, checking his phone every 5 minutes. He hadn't spoken to Ritsuka all day and earlier he could've sworn he heard his love cry out in pain. Of course, Soubi was worried, but Ritsuka gave him strict orders to stay away until he received the ok. So, all Soubi could do was pace and wait for the sweet, yet seductive, voice to call out for him once again.

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Purple orbs opened wearily as Ritsuka groaned and his vision came back into focus.

"Hn, Where am I?"

All of a sudden, a flash of light blinded Ritsuka and an angel-like figure floated down in front of him. Giant white wings opened to reveal a perfect pale face with shimmering gold eyes. Her complexion clashed with her ensemble of dark blue garments, but it brought a new air of mystery to her. She bent over so that she was eye-to-eye with Ritsuka, and offered a hand to the confused boy. He carefully accepted the help and was pulled up with ease. Ritsuka looked down and noticed that he couldn't feel any pain, let alone see any of the marks previously left by his mother.

"Who are you?" Ritsuka asked skeptically. He moved back a bit, only to run into the mystery woman's wings that enclosed them both.

She smiled sweetly at him and pushed him toward her. "I am Kisayo; I heard your request and came to discuss something with you."

"A-am I dead?" Ritsuka looked down in shame and subconsciously began rubbing his wrists. Kisayo let out a light and airy chuckle, but soon became serious. "No, Ritsuka, you're not dead; not yet anyways. That is why I am here, actually. Like I said, I heard you're request to die, but I am here to try and prevent it, not encourage it. Ritsuka, you have so much left to live for. I am here to show you what life would be like without you in it." And with one swoop of her wings, she brought them both to the front of Ritsuka's house.

Ritsuka looked up at the sky and noticed it was pitch black. "Oh, shit, Mom! She's gunna kill me!" Ritsuka dashed in the house and into the kitchen, where he saw his mother washing that same knife that she had stabbed him with earlier. "Mom, I'm home. Sorry I was late, but something came up. Mom?"

"She can't hear you. Remember that you are on the verge of death. This is the final trial before you decide whether death is still the route you want to take. Come now, we have a couple more stops."  
"But wait, what about mom? Does she even know that I'm dead!?" Ritsuka pulled at Kisayo's sleeve, and looked up with desperate eyes.

Kisayo looked away in pain, "Yes, she thinks you're dead. The same goes for everyone else. Ritsuka, you have been gone for one week."

"B-but how? I mean, I remember all the stuff that happened as if it were only a few hours ago. How has time passed so quickly?"

"Remember that I am trying to show you how life would be like if you weren't there anymore. It wouldn't be any good to show you everyone an hour after you had 'died'. So instead I have taken you to the future. Now let's move on, shall we?"

They were about to leave, when they heard screaming coming from inside the house. Ritsuka ran inside, but stopped dead in his tracks as he witnessed his mother's suicide attempt. "Cruel world, why did you take my beloved sons away from me!? First Seimei was murdered, and now my Ritsuka gets taken away! Even his imposter killed himself! Was I meant to be alone forever!? FINE, TAKE ME ALREADY!"

"NO! Mother don-" Ritsuka paused as the look of horror shot across his face. He watched as his mother took her final step off of the chair. He watched as the rope around her neck cut off her air supply. And he watched as his mother's last breath was full of pain and anguish. Kisayo gently wrapped her wing over Ritsuka and took him to their next destination.

They arrived swiftly in front of an apartment complex, also known as Yuiko's house. They flew up to the window and saw Yuiko, dressed in black and crying in front of a picture they took together, along with Yayoi. Never, in all the years that Ritsuka had known her, had Yuiko ever dressed in such a depressing color. Usually, Ritsuka dressed in darker colors, but seeing them on Yuiko made everything so dark and dreary. His eyes shot up; there was another person in her apartment. Yayoi walked into the room and sat next to Yuiko, who threw herself at him and cried even harder. There was a slight mumble coming from his damp shirt. "Why, why did Ritsuka have to do such a thing!? I thought that we were his friends! Aren't friends supposed to help each other out, no matter what!? If he came to talk to us, we could've helped him! I mean, how were we supposed to know that his mother treated him so badly!? Why…"

Yayoi held onto Yuiko's shaking form and rested his head atop hers. "I don't know why Ritsuka kept so much from us, but I'm guessing it's because it was hard for him to talk about it. I don't even know if Soubi knew the whole story. I always knew his mother was like that, but I didn't think it had gotten that bad. But Yuiko, I believe Ritsuka is in a much happier place now."

Kisayo glanced over and saw tears pouring out of Ritsuka's eyes. "I'm sorry…" whispered Ritsuka as rain started falling lightly.

"There's still one place we need to go to. Are you ready?" Ritsuka wiped the remaining tears with his sleeve and nodded silently. There was a puff of feathers, and suddenly they were standing in front of another apartment; one that Ritsuka knew all too well. He dreaded going in as he walked up the stairs.

As he reached the door, he said to himself, "It's now or never.", and pushed it open to reveal a dark room. The only source of light was the illumination of the full moon that shone through the window in the kitchen. Ritsuka pushed past Kisayo in the pursuit of finding Soubi, **his** Soubi. While stumbling around trying to find his fighter, Ritsuka saw a silhouette curled against the bed. The orange flicker called out to him and brought him over to what appeared to be Soubi. Ritsuka's ears flattened when he saw his counterpart. Disheveled clothes complemented the untamed hair and waterfall of tears sprouting from the adult's, now dull, eyes.

Ritsuka couldn't take it anymore, and let fresh tears run freely. He sobbed and tried to reach out to Soubi, only to have his hand swipe right through Soubi's head. Ritsuka listened carefully to what his fighter was whispering about. "Why didn't you take me with you, Ritsuka? You should have known what pain and sorrow you would bring with your death. You could have at least put me out of my misery from losing you! First Seimei threw me away, and now, you selfishly take away the only thing I had left!? Why did you never accept my love!? Was I truly disgusting to you, or were you too afraid of what others would think!? All I wanted was your acceptance and love. Was that too much to ask…" The rest of his speech was drowned out by sobs from both Soubi, and Ritsuka.

Ritsuka ran back into the living room. "Please, Kisayo, take me away from this horrible place! I just want to go back; back to a week ago, when Soubi wasn't in this much pain! I can't stand him like this! How do I stop myself from dying!?"

Kisayo smiled warmly at him and pushed back a piece of hair that fell during Ritsuka's pleas. "All you have to do is ask, little one. Since you have done this, I shall accept your request. I am pleased with your decision, and I look forward to seeing your future."

The blinding light returned and Ritsuka shot up from his lying position. His vision wasn't back yet, but as he rubbed the sleepiness from his eyes, he glanced around the room and saw that he was definitely not in his house.

"Ritsuka, you're finally awake. You don't know how worried I was. How are you feeling?" Purple orbs met blue ones, and soon enough, Ritsuka was pulled into a gentle embrace by Soubi. A state of shock passed through Ritsuka as he felt his shirt being stained with tears. "Hey Soubi, don't cry; especially over someone as useless as me…"

Ritsuka ran his fingers through the silky blonde locks and gently massaged his scalp. Soubi's hands removed Ritsuka's from his head and put them at an arm's distance away. With Ritsuka still in his grasp, Soubi tightened his hold and a flash of anger washed over him. His lips curved down as he let his emotions take over. "How could you say that!? Haven't you realized how much everyone needs you; how much **I **need you? If anything were to happen to you, I would die. I can't live without you, let alone stand to see anything happen to you. So don't you dare say that you are useless!"

Fresh tears spilled out of Soubi's eyes. Ritsuka looked down at his fighter's trembling hands and transferred them from his wrists to make them intertwine with his. Sorrow reflected back through Ritsuka's eyes. "I'm sorry; I just…"

"I know Ritsuka, and we'll get you help. Everything will be better, I promise. Just trust me."

The crying had stopped, but the pain and regret floated between them. Ritsuka hesitantly moved his hand up to cup Soubi's cheek and pulled his face so they were within an inch of each other.

"I do trust you; you have no idea how much." The gap was closed and sparks flew between the couple. Ritsuka fervently grasped the front of Soubi's shirt as he put as much passion as he could into the kiss. Teeth clashed and tongues twirled while Ritsuka hastily unbuttoned Soubi's shirt.

By the time Ritsuka ran his small hands across Soubi's bare chest, the blonde was lost in a sea of passion. Ritsuka tried to push Soubi down onto the bed, but unfortunately Soubi regained the sensible part of his mind and stopped the anxious boy. After he disconnected their lips, Soubi looked up to see a pouting, panting Ritsuka. Soubi leaned up and lightly kissed Ritsuka's forehead. "I'm sorry Ritsuka, but we can't just yet."

Ritsuka climbed seductively on top of Soubi and gave him this best innocent look. "But why? Haven't you been wanting to take my ears? I'm ready; I know I am. Or am I not good enough anymore?"

Ears flattened on top of the mass of midnight hair as Ritsuka dropped his head so his bangs covered the hurt in his eyes. Soubi used his index finger to lift the boy's face up so that they were looking right at each other. "Hun, it's not that. I do want to take your ears, but I don't think now is a good time. I mean, after all that's happened I don't want you to do something that you're going to regret in the future." Soubi pushed Ritsuka's bangs out of his face and placed them behind his ears (the human ones).

"But I thought it through! I want you to take my ears."

"You may want that now, but what about in 5 minutes or tomorrow? Your emotions change so drastically that I don't want you to hate me later." Soubi could tell that he hit a nerve. "Soubi, I could never hate you! I know that I was like that before, but I've changed in the last 3 years. I also know that you're worried about me regretting it and leaving you, but I _have _thought it through, and I truly want you to take me. I-I love you."

That was all Soubi needed to hear. He had Ritsuka on his back and shirtless in no time at all. Lustful eyes reflected back at him, as Soubi continued undressing his Sacrifice, placing random kisses over Ritsuka's exposed skin. Ritsuka shivered when a sweep of wind flew past him. Soubi stopped and looked up, "Is there something wrong, or are you just cold?"

Ritsuka turned his head away, but Soubi understood that he was just embarrassed. Smirking he added, "Well, than I guess I'll have to warm you up.", and enclosed his slightly chapped lips over Ritsuka's twitching member.

"AH!" Subconsciously throwing his head back, Ritsuka forced himself to open his eyes and look down at Soubi. All he saw was a blob of blonde hair bobbing up and down, making Ritsuka want more each second. But what really got him begging for more was the slight humming coming from those perfect lips as they worked their magic.

Soubi was able to fit most of Ritsuka into his mouth, _"Hm, I hadn't realized how big Ritsuka actually was…"_, but had to deep throat in order to fit the last inch or so. Holding his gag, Soubi started sucking harder and harder, following the pleasure filled shouts of his 'master'. Ritsuka started bucking his hips, trying to create more friction between them, but Soubi couldn't add any more, so he had to hold Ritsuka steady as he completed the task at hand. He twirled his tongue around the hardening organ and gently bit down on the sensitive areas. His tongue found the sit and he rubbed it back and forth, happy to hear that that was also another of Ritsuka's sensitive spots. Soubi could taste the precum dripping through the tip, and added to the intensity by gliding across the vein on the underside of Ritsuka's cock. While he was devouring Ritsuka in his mouth, a hand snaked its way over to Ritsuka's sac and started fondling it, massaging them all over.

"S-Soubi…I think I'm-I'm going…going to cum…" Soubi smirked and started thrusting faster. He had been waiting to taste his beautiful Sacrifice, and now the moment had finally come. _"Just a little bit longer…almost there."_ Soubi chanted in his head while he tried to concentrate on his ending performance. After a few more thrusts, Ritsuka's seed flowed through his member and into Soubi's mouth. Soubi didn't waste a drop as he swallowed it all, happy to be one level closer to Ritsuka.

Ah…Soubi…" Ritsuka panted as he rode out his orgasm before Soubi unlatched himself and flipped Ritsuka over. "Wait." Ritsuka turned his head around to face a glazed over Soubi. "I want to watch you."

Soubi looked at his hesitantly, "But it will hurt a lot more." Ritsuka tried to erase his uneasiness by smiling back brightly, "I don't care, I know you will be gentle. I just want to make sure you get as much pleasure out of this as I am."

Soubi gave in and turned Ritsuka back over, but still kept a good grip on his waist. Leaning over Ritsuka's sprawled out body, Soubi went into the bedside table drawer and pulled out a bottle of lubricant and something in a small, square wrapper. Once Ritsuka witnessed this, he asked in his most seductive voice, "Can I put it on?"

Soubi was surprised, but not over what Ritsuka was asking. It was more of what he was doing once he got the condom. While waiting for it to be put on, Ritsuka didn't even open the package before throwing it like a Frisbee into the next room. "What was that for? I would have thought that-"

"No Soubi, I want to feel you in me; all of you. Please…" How could he say no to an answer like that? "Ok, spread your legs further apart." Ritsuka complied and lifted his hips as well. "My, my, it seems like someone already has knowledge of being an uke. I wonder if he needs punishing for practicing on someone else." Smirking, Soubi ran his index finger up and down Ritsuka's inner thigh. Catching on to their 'game', Ritsuka held back a grunt and he watched Soubi's lithe fingers caress him while he waited for a response. "I'm sorry master, but I only did it to be perfect for you. Will you please punish me?"

"Master eh? Well than, as your master, I command you to scream my name to your heart's content and writhe in pleasure as I ravish you all though the night."

Ritsuka moaned when Soubi's fingers got closer and closer to the prize. "As you wish, master…"

Suddenly, Ritsuka felt something at his entrance. It was pointed and prodded around, like it was mapping out the area. It was soon replaced by another pointed object, but this one was wet and easily slid into Ritsuka. All he heard was, "Relax Ritsuka.", as he felt a second finger insert itself into his virginal hole. "Mhm…" Ritsuka was on cloud nine, but soon fell off as the third and final finger went inside. "AH! Soubi, it hurts…"

The fingers started thrusting in and out; stretching Ritsuka each time they came back in. "Sh, I know love, but I must prepare you for what's coming. It will hurt, I'm not going to lie, but the outcome will be worth all the pain you are feeling know, I promise." Soubi leaned over and gave Ritsuka a quick kiss before thrusting in a few more times.

Once Ritsuka got used to being fingered, they were removed and a much bigger object took their place. "Ritsuka, are you ready. Once I start, I don't think I will be able to stop until we finish. I love you."

Ritsuka scrunched his face up and moaned at the twitching his cock was doing from the lack of attention. "Just do it already!" And that he did. Soubi eased himself into Ritsuka with his hard, lubed member until he was all the way in. "OW!" Ritsuka screamed in pain, while Soubi let him adjust to the bigger arrangements. A couple of minutes passed until the pain somewhat subsided and a new pain was in its place. Soubi saw the change in Ritsuka's eyes and knew what he wanted. Soubi started off slow, thrusting in and out of his Sacrifice at a leisurely pace, until Ritsuka let out a grunt, "Faster!"

"Oh, ah…" Soubi had Ritsuka's hands pinned above his head as he thrust faster and harder, making the bed shake and anything that wasn't nailed down move slightly as well. "Oh gods, Ritsuka, you are so tight, and I love it. Scream my name." Soubi was nearing to his completion, so he knew Ritsuka wasn't far away from it either. He grabbed Ritsuka's member and started thrusting it in time with his. "Soubi, I-I…SOUBI!" Hot seed splattered across their stomachs and some drizzled out of Ritsuka's hole as Soubi released inside of him.

Soubi laid down next to his lover and snuggled the boy, who was on the verge of sleep, closer to him. Before both passed out for the evening, Soubi bent his head down to give Ritsuka a sweet kiss. "You were wonderful tonight. I love you."

It was hard to hear, but Soubi caught a last, "I love you too.", before even breathing filled the room.

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Soubi woke to the faint sound of crying. He sat up and noticed a line of light at the bottom of the bathroom door. Putting two-and-two together, the blonde jumped out of bed, threw on a pair of pants, and ran over to Ritsuka. He kicked down the door and found his love crouched in a ball, watching his blood spill out of a re-opened cut. Soubi quickly scooped up the sobbing boy and sat down with Ritsuka in his lap. He pulled the hand towel with them and dabbed at the blood on Ritsuka's wrist.

Ritsuka winced and pulled back his scarred arm. "Sh, baby, it'll be ok. I need to clean your injury. Can I have it back?"

Ritsuka nodded and surrendered it to Soubi. After Soubi got the bleeding to stop, he carried Ritsuka's limp body to the next room and gently placed him on the bed before going back to the bathroom for the first aid kit.

When everything was cleaned up, Soubi got behind Ritsuka and pulled him into his bare chest. He wrapped his arms around the boy's waist and started placing sweet butterfly kisses down Ritsuka's neck. It was than that he noticed, "Hey Ritsuka, are you wearing my pants?"

Ritsuka instantly froze and a blush covered his tear-stained face. He looked down at the sweats that, after rolled up numerous times, hugged his hips nicely and than tilted his head up to take a peek at Soubi, only to find him smirking back. "Uh, um, I didn't mean to, it was just the first thing I could find that somewhat fit me. I couldn't walk around naked, now could I?"

Ritsuka tried to struggle out of Soubi's grasp, but was pulled back into an even stronger embrace. A shiver went down Ritsuka's back when he felt Soubi by his ear, using his deep, husky voice. "Well, you know that **I **wouldn't complain about you walking around in the buff, but Kio might freak out is he came in. And anyways, you look sexy in them. So much that if you keep struggling like that, you're going to make me hard again."

Ritsuka hit Soubi's hand away before it could go down any further. "You pervert!"

"Heh, that's not what you said last night." Ritsuka hid his face in his hands and mumbled, "Baka."

They sat in silence until Soubi brought up the subject that neither wanted to talk about. "So, will you tell me what happened?"

Silence

"Please Ritsuka; I can't help unless you tell me what you're thinking. You said that you trusted me; now it the time to prove it."

Soubi was about to give up when he heard a faint, "I will never be able to escape her. This at least helps me not think about it."

"Who's 'her', your mother? You know that I don't approve of your living arrangements and that you are welcome to stay here."

Ritsuka leaned his head against Soubi's beautifully sculpted body. "We've talked about this before. I told you that I don't want to move out until I'm 17. I'll just have to put up with it for 2 more years. And I have you, so I know it will work out in the end."

BOOM

"Soubi, what are you doing!? Why'd you do that!? You even made a dent in it!" Soubi's hand trembled as he looked over to see the damage his hand just caused. There was a decent sized hole with a bruising hand still embedded in the wall.

"2 more years; that's all!? You can barely keep yourself alive now, so how the hell are you supposed to survive the next 2 years!? You say that I'm here, but look at what a good job I've done so far!" Soubi grabbed Ritsuka's bandaged wrist and brought it up to their eye levels. "So how's _this_ for protecting you!?"

"Ow, Soubi, please let go; you're hurting me." Sighing, Soubi lessened his grip, but brought Ritsuka's wrist up to his lips and gently grazed the spot of Ritsuka's latest 'attack'. "I'm sorry, I really am, but I honestly don't know what else to do…"

Ritsuka closed his eyes and snuggled into Soubi's embrace. "Just hold me; that's all I need right now."

"As you wish, my love."

5 Months Later

"Ok, I think that's the last of it!" Ritsuka looked around his bare room and closed the door for the last time.

As Ritsuka walked down the stairs, he was brought back to the previous time he stepped foot in his house.

"_Ritsuka, is that you?"_

_Ritsuka walked into the dark hallway and took off his shoes. "Yes mother, I'm home. I'm sorry I'm late, but-"_

_Crash_

"_NO! You are NOT my Ritsuka! Get out! Get out and bring my son home! I don't want to see you EVER again!"_

"_But mother, I-"_

"_NO! You will NEVER be my Ritsuka!"_

_SLAM_

_Ritsuka ran out as fast as he could and back into the loving embrace of Soubi. The fighter carried his sacrifice back to the apartment and held him in his arms the rest of the night. When morning came, the decision was final and Ritsuka accepted Soubi's request/plea._

Ritsuka made it to the front of the door and took one final look back. "Goodbye."

Meeting Soubi outside, Ritsuka intertwined their hands and they made their way back to Soubi's, wait no, their apartment.

Unknown to them, there was one other who witnessed their departure. "Good for you Ritsuka; I knew you could do it. Thank you for choosing to live." And all that was left were pure, white feathers flying in the wind.

A/N- I wrote this last year, but lost it when I got my new laptop. Now that I've found and critiqued it, I decided that it was time to share this with you all. This is my first lemon, so let me know what you think of it honestly. Thanks for reading!

Much luv,  
XOiHeaRTMiLoOX


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